So, I’m happily outlining for finals…ok, maybe not happily, but I’m doing it, and I have my TV on. Watching things on my tivo… Next thing I know it goes silent. What? Why? I look up and the screen says “Welcome! Powering up…”

I think to myself “well thats strange, its never powered up by itself BEFORE”

A few minutes later the next screen says something to the effect of “Just a few more minutes…”

Ok, you’ve totally interrupted my viewing experience, thanks Tivo.

I look up 5 minutes later and it says “Installing an important sevice update”

Ok, fine, this sounds legitimate…

A few minutes later, I get this AWESOME message “Preparing the service update. This may take up to an hour, possibly longer”

WHAT?!?!?!?! Wait a second, I never asked to install anything, why are you ruining the rest of my night? Couldn’t you prompt me for this?

Next thing you’re going to tell me you had to reformat and you’ve lost all my season pass info and my recorded programs…. I guess in an hour or “possibly longer” we’ll find out.

:shakes fist at tivo:

This article shows us exactly what is in Chenney’s glasses.  It is not a naked woman, just Chenney gripping is golf club!  Check out the picture and click zoom to go in closer and see clearly what the image is really of.

 ;-)

To all my friends who in 2007 sent me best ‘wishes’, chain letters, ‘angel’ letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something,
NONE OF THAT SHIT WORKED!

For 2008, could you please just send money, Margaritas, chocolate, or airline tickets instead?

Thanks!

Here are the 36 Rules of Life… and my comments in italics.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
ew.

2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
its true.

3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Hmmm, I don’t know about this one. If you make car noises while you’re in the garage, does that help?

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
See #2

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
Makes for a more adventurous life, and better stories.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
If only this would clean my house.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
Seriously.

8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
What if the waiter was rude first? Is tit-for-tat not what nice people do?

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
I make money….they tax me…

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Better call my travel agent.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Do emailed bills travel twice as fast as my epayments?

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
You can never win!

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Just later and with a better body…

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
That’s the problem, we can’t deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
Maybe this is true, but women have been shot for not washing dishes:

WIND RIDGE - A 27-year-old Graysville man is being held in the Greene County Prison after police say he shot his 17-year-old wife to death for not washing the dishes.

Jessica Kathleen Petrie, 17, of 337 Chapman Road, Graysville, died at Ruby Memorial Hospital in Morgantown, W.Va., where she had been taken for treatment after the Thursday morning assault.

The Greene County coroner’s office had yet to receive details Friday afternoon of an autopsy conducted in Pittsburgh.

16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
What about donuts, can I have a donut in each hand? Wait, now how do I hold my drink?

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Oh no….

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Keep this in mind when you make your next decision, maybe you won’t feel as bad when you pick the wrong choice.

19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
Exactly! Everytime I throw out that “book that was under my bed for 12 years” I will absolutely need it the following week.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
I thought this system was foolproof.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Then you can do something wrong to make yourself feel better but it ends in #12.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Yup.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Perhaps this one should be publicized a bit more.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
Welcome to law school.

25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
See #23.

26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
Hey! Watch it! I love meetings.

27. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
Remember that kid, the one from middle school, who collected bugs? Yeah, he crossed the fine line.

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Unless it is purely so they may criticize yours…

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
Something every law student should really remind themselves of.

30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
This is a lie. Every time I’m out someone makes fun of the bad dancers. These people don’t necessarily “care,” but they will make fun of you.

31. Never lick a steak knife.
But I just want that last piece of…OUCH.

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
I wonder if the DoD uses this?

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
Did you read the articles published recently about how daylight savings time doesn’t even save us any energy? Here is one.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Even then we are likely upset and angry and you may not want to mention it.

35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
I am, no REALLY, I am.

36. Your friends love you anyway. But not your frenemies, and if you don’t think you have those, you just aren’t paying attention.

Not that I have any time to waste at all these days…

I have a new addiction. It wastes time, and its free, how great is that? Those of you that used to play DOTA on warcraft will likely appreciate this a great deal. A friend of mine recently introduced me to this great game called Desktop Tower Defense. ” Desktop TD is a fun flash based puzzle / strategy game where you have to protect your desktop from invaders by spending money on attacking pieces and building a maze for them to follow.”

It is amazing, simple, and yet highly addictive. If you want to be productive today, I suggest you stay away from it. Be careful….

• Desktop Tower Defense

Oh and if a highly addictive flash game isn’t what you’re looking for, go ahead and check out these pictures of what celebrities would look like if they moved to Oklahoma.

Haven’t posted anything funny in a while, figured its time.

9 Words Women Use - and what they really mean.

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can say to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying SCREW YOU!

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.

You should probably link this to the men you know, so they too will understand what we are trying to say.

The year is winding down… Just feels like a good time to recap the most popular Mofomon posts.

Here are the top 5 wildly popular posts (not including the blog homepage):

1. Funny Things Said In Court
2. Corporate Lessons
3. Preschool Test That You Won’t Pass - Which way is the bus traveling?
4. How Smart is Your Right Foot
5. Tricks For Your Body

If you haven’t visited them all yet you should do it, everyone else did! Oh, and they enjoyed it too.

So I was looking through my google stats to see why users are coming to my blog, what they find interesting, where I can improve, and I found out a few interesting things. Turns out the last two weeks users have either come to my site looking for Malibu Fire Pictures or Information, or some (I’m sure sadly disappointed users) have been coming here looking for a Monica Leigh video, since we share the same first name, but I don’t have anything here about Monica Leigh. Didn’t even know who she was until I googled her a second ago…

Its always interesting to see how/why people end up here.

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Severe back pain is to blame for the delay in this post…but on the brightside while I was in bed I did find a good time waster. 

MIT students are infamous for their pranks and hacks.  I used to think these were all secret and I could only hear rumors about them.  Wrong.  MIT has a gallery of their students’ hacks!  Go Check Them Out.  Very clever, very humorous, and of course a great way to waste some time.