Mofomon

Finding a careful scrutiny should try Need Quick Cash Need Quick Cash lowering the years old.

Mofomon

Pure Awesomeness… Sort Of…

Rules of Life

Here are the 36 Rules of Life… and my comments in italics.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
ew.

2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
its true.

3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Hmmm, I don’t know about this one. If you make car noises while you’re in the garage, does that help?

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
See #2

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
Makes for a more adventurous life, and better stories.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
If only this would clean my house.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
Seriously.

8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
What if the waiter was rude first? Is tit-for-tat not what nice people do?

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
I make money….they tax me…

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Better call my travel agent.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Do emailed bills travel twice as fast as my epayments?

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
You can never win!

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Just later and with a better body…

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
That’s the problem, we can’t deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
Maybe this is true, but women have been shot for not washing dishes:

WIND RIDGE – A 27-year-old Graysville man is being held in the Greene County Prison after police say he shot his 17-year-old wife to death for not washing the dishes.

Jessica Kathleen Petrie, 17, of 337 Chapman Road, Graysville, died at Ruby Memorial Hospital in Morgantown, W.Va., where she had been taken for treatment after the Thursday morning assault.

The Greene County coroner’s office had yet to receive details Friday afternoon of an autopsy conducted in Pittsburgh.

16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
What about donuts, can I have a donut in each hand? Wait, now how do I hold my drink?

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Oh no….

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Keep this in mind when you make your next decision, maybe you won’t feel as bad when you pick the wrong choice.

19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
Exactly! Everytime I throw out that “book that was under my bed for 12 years” I will absolutely need it the following week.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
I thought this system was foolproof.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Then you can do something wrong to make yourself feel better but it ends in #12.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Yup.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Perhaps this one should be publicized a bit more.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
Welcome to law school.

25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
See #23.

26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
Hey! Watch it! I love meetings.

27. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
Remember that kid, the one from middle school, who collected bugs? Yeah, he crossed the fine line.

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Unless it is purely so they may criticize yours…

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
Something every law student should really remind themselves of.

30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
This is a lie. Every time I’m out someone makes fun of the bad dancers. These people don’t necessarily “care,” but they will make fun of you.

31. Never lick a steak knife.
But I just want that last piece of…OUCH.

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
I wonder if the DoD uses this?

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
Did you read the articles published recently about how daylight savings time doesn’t even save us any energy? Here is one.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Even then we are likely upset and angry and you may not want to mention it.

35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
I am, no REALLY, I am.

36. Your friends love you anyway. But not your frenemies, and if you don’t think you have those, you just aren’t paying attention.

3 comments

3 Comments so far

  1. Rules of Life March 16th, 2008 5:26 pm

    […] In The Know Traveler wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt Here are the 36 Rules of Life… and my comments in italics. 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. ew. 2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often. its true. 3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. Hmmm, I don’t know about this one. If you make car noises while you’re in the garage, does that help? 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidi […]

  2. […] Ok, so this game may not be the most animal friendly, but think of it as a stuffed kitten, ok?  My record is 587 ft.  What is yours? Go play kitten cannon and let me know how much you beat me by. If you enjoyed this please Share: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. […]

  3. jessica s law March 17th, 2008 7:53 pm

    […] […]