A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of Lifesavers.
The children began to say:

• “Red . . . cherry”

• “Yellow . . . lemon”

• “Green . . . lime”

• “Orange . . . orange”

Finally the teacher gave them all honey Lifesavers.
After eating them none of the children could identify the taste. “Well,” he said, “I’ll give you all a clue; It’s what your mother may sometimes call your father.”
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her Lifesaver out and yelled:  “Oh My God ! ! ! ! They’re assholes!”

Today’s Chinese Proverb:
“If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.”

I’m starting today off with a proverb, because it’s a hopeful one.  Taking the advice, I am going to slowly work through my day, no hurry.