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Archive for February, 2005

Bubba Joe

Redneck Logic
Bubba Joe’s first military assignment was to a military induction
center, and, because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty
of advising new recruits about the government benefits,
especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled. Before long
the Captain in charge of the induction center began
noticing that Bubba was getting a 99% sign up for the top GI insurance.
This was odd, because it would cost these poor inductees nearly $30.00
per month more for their higher coverage than what the government was
already granting.
The Captain decided that he would sit in the back of the room and
observe Bubba’s sales pitch. Bubba Joe stood up before his latest group
of inductees and stated, “If you have the normal GI
insurance and go to Iraq and are killed, the government pays your
beneficiary $6,000.”
“If you take out the supplemental GI insurance, which will cost you an
additional $30.00 per month, the government pays your beneficiary
$200,000.”

“Now,” Bubba concluded, “which bunch do you think they’re gonna send
into combat first?”

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Hard to beat a Texan!

Hard to beat a Texan !

A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, “Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?”

The guy in the Rolls says, “Yes, of course I do..”

“I got one too… see?” the Te xan says.

“Uh, huh, yes, that’s very nice.”

“You got a fax machine?” asks the Texan. “Why, actually, yes, I do.”

“I do too! See? It’s right here!” brags the Texan.

The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, “So, do you have a double bed in back there?”

The guy in the Rolls replies, “NO! Do you?”

“Yep, got my double bed right in back here,” the Texan replies.

The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off.

Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car.

About two weeks later, the job is finally done.

He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it.

The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.

The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out.

The guy with the Rolls says, “Hey, remember me?”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember you,” replies the Texan, “What’s up?” “Check this out…I got a double bed installed in my Rolls. ”

“The Texan exclaims, “YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?”

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