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Mofomon

Pure Awesomeness… Sort Of…

Archive for September, 2004

Hurricane Kerry could be devestating, please hide behind a Bush.

The National Weather Service has issued a warning for yet another catastrophic hurricane following on the heels of Charley, Ivan
and Jeanne. The path of this hurricane zigs and zags, and is therefore highly unpredictable. Experts predict that this one will cause
the most damage to the United States that we have experienced in four years.
They are naming this one Hurricane Kerry.

Be advised, the only way for citizens to protect themselves is by being behind a Bush.

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Famous boyfriend.

My boyfriend was on national television :-p

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You think you know everything? Add these important facts to your list.

So You think you Know everything?……..

-A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
-A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
-A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
-A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
-A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
-A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
-A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
-A snail can sleep for three years.
-Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
-All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
-Almonds are a member of the peach family.
-An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
-Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
-Butterflies taste with their feet.
-Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
-“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.
-February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
-In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
-If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
-If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
-It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
-Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
-Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
-No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
-On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
-Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
-Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
-Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
-“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand and “lollipop” with your right.
-The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
-The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
-The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
-The sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet.
-The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
-The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
-There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
-There are more chickens than people in the world.
-There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous
-There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: “abstemious” and “facetious.”
-There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
-Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
-TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
-Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
-Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
-Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

………….Now you know everything

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Parkside at USC made me sick.

Parkside made me sick tonight. Doesn’t that suck?

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talk to who??

I need to talk, but who the hell was i going to talk to?

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You don’t know shit.

Dan Rather of CBS news was seated next to little
Tommy on the plane when Rather turned to the boy
and said, “Let’s talk, I’ve heard that flights go
quicker if you strike up a conversation with your
fellow passengers”.

Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed
it slowly, and said to Rather, “What would you like
to discuss?”

“Oh, I don’t know” said Rather, “How about politics?
Should we keep Bush as president or elect Kerry?”

“OK” said Little Tommy, “That could be an
interesting topic but let me ask you a question
first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass.
The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets,
while a cow turns out flat pattys, and a horse
excretes clumps of dried grass. Why do you think
that is?”

“Jeez” said Rather, “I have no idea.”

“Well then” said Little Tommy, “How is it you feel
qualified to discuss who should run this country
when you don’t know s* * t?”

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the good and the bad

Its good to catch up with old friends.

Its bad to have THIS MUCH WORK.

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Must See Olympics

Must see olympics, a very cute animation. 🙂

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The curtain rods.

THE CURTAIN RODS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checkefor dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON’T YOU????

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USC dominates field, Trojans beat BYU.

USC dominated on the field once again! Watched the entire game, fun stuff.
We beat BYU!

Alright so have i told you guys about how my front yard is the official lounge for all neighborhood cats? Honestly it is. I went down to grab the mail today and all i saw was a whole lot of cats lying around. its ridiculous!

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